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The Haunted Moonbase

by Wesley Thunder

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about

Trouble's afoot on the moon! Can our hero snap the computer out of its existential funk?

lyrics

Hello, Moonbase, it's been a really long time since we've heard from you.
Our diagnostic shows response times are slow and you're feeling blue.
(You're not alone, though you're far from home...)
We've made a plan, as best we can, are there any surviving technicians who could lend a hand?
We'll send someone up to sort this out, worst case scenario we'll just pull the core.
***
Times are tough. These days you've gotta jump on opportunists just to make ends meet. But a fella's gotta draw the line somewhere. For me, it was when those egghead scientists wanted to send me into space. They said the supercomputer that runs the whole works up there had gone catawompus on them! Well they needed me to take a rocket to the moon and see if I could get it workin again. Reboot it, they said. Well here's what I told them.
I won't work in space, no, I just won't work in space.
I'll work the land, I'll work it out but I'll never work in space.
I said it before, I'll say it again, I'll never work in space.
They didn't want to take no for an answer. But there are a set of rules I live by. Rule 7 is always return your shopping cart. But rule 5 is don't do work in space.
I won't work in space, no, I just won't work in space.
I'll work from home and burn the midnight oil but I'll never work in space.
A lick of work never hurt no one, but I'll never work in space.
Now I'm not proud of everything that went down after that. They really wanted to send me to the moon. Let's just say I didn't end up going to space and leave it at that.
I won't work in space, no, I just won't work in space.
I'll learn a trade, I'll toil away but I'll never work in space.
I'll bust my buns and still have some fun but I'll never work in space.
I'll swab the deck and write some scripts on spec but I'll never work in space.
***
They say we live on forever
In the thoughts and memories of those we know
But I don't have a heart
And I'm not programmed to have a soul.

But my memory is solar powered,
And while the sun won't last forever
At least we'll have some time.

credits

released December 10, 2022

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Wesley Thunder Los Angeles, California

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